Salaamun alaykum, dear readers!

Marriage in Islam is the Islamically-sanctioned union between two people, in which they are allowed to have sexual relations and reproduce.

There are multiple commandments in the Quran for marriage. Let’s explore what the steps of marriage are according to the Quran.

The Marriage Contract

One of them is that marriage is made official via a formal contract.

[4:21] But how could you take it (dowry and other property) back, when you have become close with one another, and they have taken from you a stern covenant?

[2:235] …And do not determine the marriage contract until the decreed period (interim) reaches its end…

In the marriage contract, the couple has to work out the terms of the marriage. The things that must be included are (like any contract) the agreement to marry, the duration of marriage (ideally for life, unless one party wishes to divorce), the terms of divorce, and the dowry, all of which must be aligned with the boundaries in the Quran.

Include in the marriage contract other terms and conditions such as marriage vows and a pledge of loyalty and commitment. God mentions in the Quran multiple times that He does not hold people accountable for casual and vain oaths, but ones that are contracted and made with serious intention (2:226, 5:89), hence the marriage contract is a good tool of accountability.

People Prohibited to Marry

The Quran gives a list of people prohibited to marry.

[4:22-23] And do not marry the women whom your fathers had married, except what has certainly passed. Indeed, it has been an enormity, an abhorrence, and an evil way. Prohibited upon you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of the brother, the daughters of the sister, the mothers who suckled you, your sisters from the suckling, the mothers of your women, and your step-daughters who are in your care among your women whom you had entered with. But if you had not entered with them, then there is no blame upon you. As well as the wives of your sons who are from your loins, and that you gathered between two sisters, except what has certainly passed. Indeed, God is Forgiving, Merciful.

These verses tell who the men aren’t supposed to marry.

Separate restrictions aren’t required for women because, for example, if men can’t marry their sisters, that means women can’t marry their brothers. Or if men can’t marry their daughters, it is like saying women can’t marry their fathers, and so on.

Regarding the topic of interfaith marriage, a Muslim man and Muslim woman is allowed to marry any non-Muslim as long as the spouse is not a polytheist.

The topic of interfaith marriages is discussed in depth at this article: Muslim Men and Women Can Marry Non-Muslims – Masjid at-Tajdeed

The Dowry

Before signing the marriage contract, a dowry must be agreed upon mutually. This is unlike a birthday gift which is usually a surprise, since the dowry has to be planned out together before marriage.

Then it is the husband who has to give the dowry to her after the married couple begins sexual relations.

After a couple is married and the dowry was given, a woman may give back part of the dowry or even all of it if she chooses, as it is her property, but she must not be coerced at all.

If she lets the husband have some of the dowry then he’s allowed to take from it, but it’s fully her choice. Ultimately, she gets the final say regarding what kind of marital gift she wants as the dowry and what she wants to do with it after it is handed over to her.

[4:4] And give the women their dowries willingly. But if they deemed good for you anything of it by self, then consume it in satisfaction, wholesomeness.

[4:24] As well as the married among your women, except what your right hands have owned. That is God’s decree upon you. But lawful for you are what is beyond that, if it is that you seek with your wealth as one who is chaste, and not one who is unchaste. So regarding what you have enjoyed from them, you shall thus pay them their dowries as an obligation, and there is no blame on you in what you agree with after the obligation. Indeed, God is Knowledgeable, Wise.

[4:21] But how could you take it (dowry and other property) back, when you have become close with one another, and they have taken from you a stern covenant?

If there is a divorce before the couple has been sexually intimate, then the husband should give her half of the agreed-upon dowry unless the wife renounces her half and gives the full dowry to him, or if he renounces his half and gives the full dowry to her. This verse states that it is closer to reverence (taqwa) if the husband renounces his half of the dowry.

[2:237] And if you have divorced them from before that you have touched them, while certainly you have obligated for them an obligation (the dowry), then give half of what you have obligated (half of the dowry), except if they renounce it, or the one by whose hand is the contract of marriage (ex-husband) renounces; it is closer to reverence that you (ex-husband) renounce, and do not forget the graciousness between you. Indeed, God is Seeing of what you do.

This verse states that if one has divorced before consummation, half the dowry can be distributed. But verse 4:21 says not to take any of the dowry back after divorce. That means if the husband wants half of the dowry

Romantic Requirements of Marriage

There are romantic requirements in a marriage.

One of them is that there must be love and mercy between the spouses.

Another is that the spouses must be like clothing for each other. Just like how clothes protect the body and provide warmth and comfort, so too should the husband and wife protect one another and provide each other emotional (and physical) warmth and comfort:

[30:21] And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from yourselves, for you may find tranquility in them, and He made love and mercy between you. Indeed, in that are definitely signs for people who reflect.

[2:187]…They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them… .

Depriving Women of Intimacy Is Forbidden

It is forbidden to reject sexual intimacy from the wives for longer than four months. He has four months to make the decision on whether to continue intimacy with her or divorce. If he fails to resume intimacy with his wife within the four-month window after his initial rejection, then he must divorce her.

[2:226-227] For the ones who swear off from their wives is a wait of four months. So if they have reverted, then indeed God is Forgiving, Merciful. But if they determined divorce, then indeed God is Hearing, Knowledgeable.

But this rule does not apply to women who reject sexual intimacy from their husbands.

Polygamy

In Islam, it is forbidden for a man to marry an already-married woman (verse 4:24).

However, men can have multiple wives in Islam, so polygyny (multiple wives) is not prohibited in the Quran.

Here is the only Quanic verse that has mentioned polygyny:

[4:3] But if you have feared that you may not be just concerning the orphans, then marry what you have deemed good for you of the women, two, three and four. But if you have feared that you may not be fair, then only one, or what your right hands have owned. That is nearer, lest you be unfair.

At first, this verse may appear to limit polygamy to only for the care of orphans, but a closer look at this verse shows that this verse technically does not make polygamy exclusive to the care of orphans.

Rather, it simply recommends polygamy as an option to reduce the desire to commit injustice towards the orphan in any way. It doesn’t say, “you can only marry multiple wives if you are caring for an orphan”.

One possible concern of injustice is raising an orphan, but the current wife or wives are too busy to properly care for one, or the household doesn’t make enough money to support an orphan. In that case, marrying another woman is a way to provide more income or another mother figure who can devote extra time to the orphan.

Another potential injustice is the urge to steal the money that the orphan inherited.

Yet another potential injustice is, God forbid, to coerce and pressure the orphan girl to marry the caregiver when she becomes of age in order to be entitled to a share of her property.

In such cases, polygamy is a recommended alternative, to help redirect one’s desires away from the property of the orphan.

So that leads us to verse 24:32, which says to marry those who aren’t married. However, this verse does not technically forbid marrying those who aren’t married. If one says, “Eat veggies,” that person is not saying, “Don’t eat anything else besides veggies.”

Verse 24:32 is thus an encouragement to marry the single people, rather a prohibition against those who are married. From a practical perspective, it makes sense for a woman to prioritize marrying unmarried men, because married men already have a partner and thus are less likely to be looking for or receptive to another person compared to single men. But there is no absolute prohibition here.

[24:32] And marry the unmarried among you, as well as the righteous among your male slaves and your bondwomen…

So a question may be: can a man have sexual relations with multiple wives at the same time

There is no problem with that, given that they are all his wives. Whether together or separately, they are free to have it in the manner they wish.

The only potential issue would be whether a woman is allowed to expose herself to another woman who is married to her husband. Verse 24:31 answers that question, and states that women are allowed to show their adornments around “their women”.

The word “their” indicates this applies to any woman whom they have some sort of close relationship with, such as “their” friend, “their” relative, “their” mom, “their” sister, “their” mother-in-law, “their” stepmother, or “their” co-wives.

So if a man has multiple wives, he is allowed to have relations with all of them at once as a group if they so choose, provided that the wives refrain from all sexual contact with each other (since they are married to one man, not to each other).

Precautions

However, there are precautions in polygamous marriages.

One is that it would be unfair to enter into another marriage without the consent of your current wives.

The last and most important concern is that the Quran prioritizes fairness amongst multiple wives in a couple of different verses. Thus, if you feel like you are going to favor one wife over another, or neglect the needs of some wives, then don’t bother marrying multiple people.

Divorce

After following all the requirements, one is married. But what if, for one reason or another, someone wants to divorce? How can they do that the Quranic way?

Arbitration

If either a husband or wife wants a divorce, but before a divorce is made official, the husband and wife must choose a representative to sit with them during an arbitration session and try to reconcile the marriage.

[4:35] But if you (husband or wife) feared a split between them (husband and wife), then raise up an arbitrator from his people, and an arbitrator from her people. If they both intend reformation, God will rectify between them. Indeed, God is Knowledgeable, Aware.

After one or more arbitration sessions, if either the husband and wife, or both, want a divorce, then it becomes official upon fulfilling any other terms of divorce on the divorce contract.

Woman’s Property Rights

No property that was given to the woman during the marriage is allowed to be taken except what she willingly gives up, as per verse 4:20-21.

[4:20-21] And if you have intended the substitution of a wife in place of another wife, and you have given one of them a qintar (a large amount of gold), then do not take back anything from it. Would you take it back by slander and clear sin? How could you take it back, when you have become close with one another, and they have taken from you a stern covenant?

Interim Support, Alimony and Child Support for Women

The Quran says that divorced women are entitled to three kinds of support.

The first is the interim support, where women continue to live at the ex-husband’s house during her “iddah” (interim, or waiting period), having her needs taken care of, thus giving her time to settle her finances.

Then there is the alimony, or spousal support, given according to the needs of the ex-wife and the capabilities of the ex-husband.

Then there is the child support, which is providing for the food and clothing of her and the child when she is divorced but her child is in the nursing period (i.e. 2 years old or less).

Interim support

Regarding the interim support, the Quran in verse 65:6 states that the divorced women have a waiting period after divorce, during which they are not allowed to marry anyone else.

The waiting period lasts for 3 menstrual cycles, or 3 months if the ex-wife doesn’t menstruate, or until birth of the child if during the waiting period she is discovered to be pregnant.

For the entire waiting period, the ex-husband must let her live at his house and he must provide for her.

[65:1] O prophet, when you have divorced the women, then divorce them while ensuring the completion of their interim; keep count of the interim, and revere God, your Lord. Do not expel them from their houses, nor should they leave except if they commit a clear enormity…

[65:4] And the ones who have lost hope of the menstruation among your women, if you have doubted, then their interim shall be three months, as well as the ones who have not menstruated. But the ones who are pregnant, their term is that they give birth. And whoever should revere God, He will make, from his matter, an ease for him.

[2:228] And the divorced women shall wait with themselves for three menstrual cycles. And it is not lawful for them that they conceal what God created in their wombs, if they were to believe in God and the Last Day.

[65:6] Lodge them (the divorced women during their interim) from where you dwell, and do not harm them in order to cause distress upon them. And if they have become ones who are pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. Then if they suckle for you, you shall thus give them their payment, and consult between yourselves in accordance with the recognized. But if you disagree, then another (wet nurse) may suckle for him. Let the possessor of ample means spend from his ample means, and let he whose provision is restricted upon him spend from what God has given…

The wisdom in this interim period is to give the wife a large window of time to arrange her living situation and financial support after the divorce becomes finalized, including if that means looking for someone who will marry and provide for her after the waiting period is over.

A woman does not have any waiting period if the marriage was never consummated. If the marriage was not ever consummated, she is not entitled to the interim support.

[33:49] O you who believed, when you have married believing women, then divorced them before that you touch them, then there is not any interim upon them for you to count. So provide for them, and release them with a beautiful release.

Alimony

So regarding the alimony, it has to be a fair amount based on the capabilities of the husband and the needs of the wife (at least until she is able to find financial support somehow after the divorce or get her finances together). The alimony could be monthly, or it could be a one-time settlement, it depends on what the ex-wife needs.

[2:236] There is no blame on you if you divorce the women that you neither touch, nor specify an obligation (dowry) for. But provide for them (alimony). Upon the wealthy is his measure, and upon the poor is his measure, a provision in accordance with the recognized. This is a duty upon the good-doers.

[2:241] And for the divorced women is a provision (alimony) in accordance with the recognized, a duty upon the righteous.

[33:49] … So provide for them (alimony), and release them with a beautiful release.

Child support

The ex-wife is entitled to child support if she is nursing his child. During the weaning period of 2 years, the ex-husband must give the provisions and clothing for both the ex-wife and the child during this period.

[2:233] And mothers shall suckle their children. Two full years, for whoever intended that they complete the suckling. And upon the father, for him is their provision and their clothing, in accordance with the recognized. No self is assigned except its capacity. No mother may be harmed with regard to her child, nor any father with regard to his child, and upon the heir is like that. So if they both intended weaning via their mutual approval and consultation, no blame is thus on them, and if you intended that you get a wet nurse for your child, then there is no blame upon you when you have submitted what you have paid in accordance with the recognized; revere God, and know that God is Seeing of what you do.

Remarriage Conditionally Forbidden After Third Divorce

Verse 2:229 and 2:230 states that if a couple gets divorced three times, they cannot remarry unless the ex-wife marries someone else and divorces that person.

[2:229-230] Divorce is twice. Then retention in accordance with the recognized, or releasing with goodness, and it is not lawful for you that you take anything of what you have given them…Then if he divorced her, she thus is not lawful for him afterwards, until she marries a spouse other than him. But if he (the new spouse) divorces her, then there is no blame on them if they return to each other. if they have assumed that they can maintain God’s limits. And these are God’s limits, He clarifies them for a people who know.

Conclusion

These are the marriage and divorce rules according to the Quran.

Typed below is a sample marriage contract template:

Marriage Contract

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

This contract has been enacted on this day, XX-XX-XXXX, between the undersigned parties, as a solemn covenant of marriage.

1. Agreement to Marry

The undersigned,

Groom: [Full Name]

Bride: [Full Name]

mutually agree to enter into marriage upon the signing of this contract, as husband and wife respectively, with the intent of mutual companionship, mercy, love, protection, and in recognition of each other’s dignity and equality before God.

2. Dowry

Section 1: The groom has agreed to give the bride a dowry of:

Amount/Item: [Specify amount of money, gold, property, or agreed gift]
Timeline of Payment: [Specify—given immediately, deferred, or partly immediate/partly deferred]

Section 2: This dowry is the exclusive right of the bride upon transfer, and must be transferred to her at any time between the start of the marriage and the earliest possible time after consummation.

Section 3: No portion of this dowry shall be taken back under any circumstances once it has been transferred, aside from whatever portion of it she willingly shares with the groom. Even if the marriage between the bride and groom ends in divorce, the bride must not be compelled to return any portion of her dowry.

Section 4: This agreement forbids the groom from committing any act of coercion upon the bride regarding what she may do with her dowry.

Section 5: If this dowry has not been transferred to the wife before consummation, and if there is a divorce between the bride and the groom before consummation, then the bride will be entitled to half of this dowry unless she willingly renounces her entitled half and lets him retain the full dowry, or unless he renounces his entitled half and transfers the full dowry to her, dependent on which decision the bride and the groom have mutually agreed upon.

3. Duration of Marriage

The parties enter this marriage for life, unless there is separation by divorce or death.

4. Terms of Divorce

Section 1: No portion of this agreement binds any person to the covenant of marriage against his or her will. Each party shall have the right to initiate the process of divorce at any time, and for any reason.

Section 2: If either party wishes to initiate a divorce at any point during the marriage, he or she must do so via making a clear declaration of divorce intent, such as: “I hereby make an official declaration of intent to dissolve this marriage.” Then this marriage shall be automatically entered into the pre-divorce stage.

Section 3: During the pre-divorce stage, the bride shall appoint one representative, and a groom shall appoint one representative. The bride, the groom, and their selected representatives shall meet together during one or more arbitration sessions and must altogether make a sincere attempt to reconcile the marriage between the bride and the groom.

Section 4: Other Terms and Conditions of Divorce that must be fulfilled during the pre-divorce stage before the finalization of the divorce includes: [Insert other Terms and Conditions of Divorce Here].

Section 5: If at any point during the pre-divorce stage the couple has mutually agreed to reconcile their marriage, then this marriage shall be exited out of the pre-divorce stage. Reconciliation must be mutual for the marriage to exit the pre-divorce stage, with both parties having made clear and unambiguous statements of their intent to reconcile and resume their marriage.

Section 6: Re-entry into the pre-divorce stage after reconciliation will require another declaration of divorce intent from either party, at least one arbitration session, and the fulfillment of the other Terms and Conditions of Divorce before the divorce is made official.

Section 7: At any point after the first arbitration session, and the fulfillment of the other Terms and Conditions of Divorce, if the marriage has not exited the pre-divorce stage, either the bride or the groom may make divorce official if at least one of them expresses a clear, unambiguous, statement of divorce finalization, such as: “I hereby declare that the marriage between you and me has now been officially dissolved.” When the divorce has been made official, then both parties will no longer be bound to this covenant of marriage as husband and wife.

Section 8: It is the will of God that no person shall be assigned except his or her capacity, nor shall any person be held in marriage against his or her will. Therefore, if at any point in the pre-divorce stage one party wants to move forward with the divorce, but the other party has failed or refused to complete any single one of the terms of divorce (whether it is arbitration, or any other other Terms and Conditions of Divorce), then the latter has two weeks to resume compliance with the Terms and Conditions of Divorce. If the latter fails to resume compliance after two weeks, then the marriage shall be annulled when the former expresses a clear, unambiguous statement divorce finalization, such as: “I hereby declare that the marriage between you and me has now been officially dissolved.“

Section 9: During the marriage, if the groom (as husband) at any point rejects sexual intimacy from the bride (as wife) for reasons other than inability due to circumstances such as distance, illness, or injury, and does not resume sexual intimacy within four months, then the marriage shall be automatically dissolved after the passage of exactly four months and one day since his rejection. The groom and bride must hold at least one arbitration session at some point during this four-month period as an attempt to reconcile and prevent the automatic dissolution of the marriage, but failure to do so will not prevent automatic divorce in this case. There shall be no pre-divorce stage in this case unless either party makes a declaration of divorce intent, in which case Section 9 shall not apply, and only the rules in Sections 1-8 shall apply.

Section 10: If the divorce between the bride and the groom has been made official, then the following terms and conditions shall apply only during the post-divorce period:

Interim Support: The bride shall observe an interim of three menstrual cycles, or three months if she no longer menstruates, if the marriage has been consummated. If she is found to be pregnant during the interim, then the interim will be extended upon birth. There is no interim upon her if the marriage was never consummated. If there is an interim upon the bride, then the groom shall continue to house and provide for the needs of the bride during the interim. The bride is forbidden in this contract to officially marry another person during her interim, but she may not be prohibited by the groom from seeking a new partner for future marriage during the interim. The groom is forbidden in this contract from committing acts of mistreatment, abuse, and disrespect of the bride during the interim, including violations of her privacy and autonomy, while housing her during her interim. She reserves the right to seek housing elsewhere during her interim if she feels unsafe at his house.

Child Support: If the groom has fathered a child or children with the bride, and upon divorce their ages have not yet reached 2 years old, then the groom shall at minimum be responsible for providing for her food and clothing, and that of the child or children, until the age of 2, in accordance with the best of his abilities.

Alimony: After divorce, the bride is entitled to alimony from the groom, the amount of which is based on an equitable balance between her needs and his capabilities. The amount of alimony must be decided either via a judge in a court of law, or via mutual decision-making between one another in fairness and equity. The consultation of other individuals are permitted to help determining the amount of alimony the bride may receive.

Child Custody: Both parties shall act in mutual consultation and fairness regarding child custody and the support of their children.

Property Rights: After divorce, the groom is forbidden in this contract to compel the bride to return any property that he has given to her during the marriage.

5. Marriage Vows and Commitments

The bride and the groom affirm the following commitments, to be upheld for as long as the marriage shall last:

To provide comfort, love, kindness, warmth, and mercy to one another.
To honor each other’s dignity, privacy, and equality.
To support each other emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
To uphold justice and compassion in all matters.
To maintain a romantically and sexually exclusive relationship with one another.
To provide mutual support for the care of any children born out of this marriage.

Additional Commitments:
[Space for the couple to write any personal commitments, e.g., financial arrangements, household responsibilities, faith practices.]

6. Amendments

This contract may be amended as needed upon mutual consultation and agreement by both parties.

No part of the original text of the contract shall be edited.

Any amendments shall be added below the original text, labelled as an “Addendum to the Contract of Marriage”.

The date of the amendment must be added on to the addendum for it to be official.

7. Signatures

By signing below, both parties affirm their consent to all terms and conditions of each clause in this marriage contract and have taken this contract a solemn covenant before God.

Groom: ___________________ Date: _____________

Bride: ____________________ Date: _____________

Marriage and Divorce Rules in the Quran + Sample Contract